Need Sanity? Try Surrender

Exciting launch coming up in the next few days. Look for cool prizes and massive benefit from Leading To Love Magazine. Finally, best wishes for the New Year!

With Love and Hope,
Jehan
Leadwrite.org

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The Last Three Steps

10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Be Honest

Now it is time to live authentically. We went through the difficult process of tallying our shortcomings. There were some unpleasant things (from the list given last week) that we had to own up to. Now we are on the look out for such personality traits or similar things we might have denied. As soon as they are found, we have to apply the salve of honesty. Speak up, tell the truth to yourself, and to others. It’s the only way to heal!

Surrender All To God

Then the final steps of the Twelve Step Method encourage us to continue with a spiritual practice. When we admit that we have problems, then pray about them, the chance of recovery is greatly improved. The act of prayer connects our wandering hearts to the One who guides. His grace descends and we find ourselves moving through life’s lessons, instead of being stuck.

Teach One Another

Finally, the timeless wisdom of teaching in order to learn! Now you have gained some experience with the recovery process, going through all the steps at least once. The best way to remember these steps is to teach them to someone else. That will force you to look at the steps in some detail, for example, when you have to look for answers when questions come up.

Is It A Cure?

No. The 12 Step program or any program of recovery from love addiction does not promise a cure. Even though it’s been exactly seven years, I remember being physically attacked by my (now ex-) husband like it was yesterday attacked by my (now ex-) husband like it was yesterday. Or rather, my body remembers. Seven years later, my stomach twists, my ulcer burns. I am fatigued, and I can’t stop crying. It is the type of anniversary no one should have. Depressed thoughts are running through my head: Where did I go wrong? Did I deserve this? Am I damned?

Even if you were abused ‘only’ verbally, or in some other non-physical way, I am sure you can relate to the pain and depression.

I am surprised because I haven’t had these negative thoughts in literally years. I have been using on-line counselors. I have followed many self-help teachers. I did the Twelve Steps work with books. My life has changed in dramatic ways. But codependency is an addiction to people and love. And it’s not curable, but we can be in “recovery” and put this disease in remission. Like arthritis, you will have flare ups from time to time. On the 7th anniversary of the worst beating I had ever got, I was definitely having a flare up. I felt depressed not only about what I had experienced, but I had no hope of having a normal relationship either.

But time has proven those fears were wrong. And recovery is real. So my last message of the year is this: Don’t give up hope. It will happen. Just keep applying the steps, and praying to God.

Sr. Jehan started Leading To Love Magazine after her own experience with abuse in an 18 year marriage. She hopes that other Muslim women and men can learn to move on from abuse and heartbreak through her writings and publications.

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